what on earth.

why haven't i blogged in such a long time. idk. pure laziness?

the summer's haze has come over me completely and swallowed me up in a cloud of slow moving actions. what. the. fuck.

so i guess i will blog. blog blog blog. just spew the sparks that fly in my mind. i'm in psychology right now. there is an old man in my class that just ugh. by old i mean 50s, gray hair, creeper mustache, etc. i don't like him. i don't even know him. this class is like an hour and forty five minutes long with a five minute break in between. at the break, he runs outside to suck down that cancer stick. suck it down deep in his lungs. probably chain smoking. always comes in late. smelling of stale smoke. and reeking of the arrogance of a man who thinks he knows shit because he's old. i wouldn't doubt that he knows more about the world than most of us, but there are plenty of people in this class who know a shit ton more about psychology than he does. stfu, old sir. stfu.


next in my mind. here i go again. reaching. grabbing. got em...talking. speaking. writing. singing. seeing. hearing. being. idk. i lost it.

i guess i've always lacked a sense of embarrassment for myself. but i hate it when people around me do unspeakably embarrassing stuff. and by that, i have no idea what i mean, but i know how it feels. sometimes, i just want to stop people from doing certain things in public, even in private. i get embarrassed for them. but things that i don't get embarrassed for others is like a slutty girl wearing the typical slutty skirt and toting an unnecessarily large purse/bag/suit case which has some how grabbed onto the bottom hem of the skirt, lifting it up an embarrassing amount, exposing ugly skin. yep. no picture for this, i don't want to enhance your senses too much. so here is a picture of Bentley. pack leader. yes you are. :D


deception. lying. cheating. corrupting. losing. forcibly winning. flying. what?! everybody does it. minus the flying part. not everyone does that. but honestly, people all believe different things. in my opinion, everyone has good in them, but in all honesty, the majority of the human psyche is centered on self preservation therefore, deception, lying, cheating, corrupting, forcibly winning, etc is ingrained in the human mind not because we are all bad people, but because we have the need to come out on top. i guess how much we let that control us defines what kind of people we are. ultimately, i must be a wretched person.

should i keep going? should i keep blogging? i still have a good 45 minutes left in this class and i haven't blogged in forever...but maybe my lack of recent blogging is straining my brain. maybe i'll post again later.