[title of show]

oh. my.

rediscovering title of show.

i love it.
i'll just give you a few quotes from the best musical in the world.

starting from the beginning.



[untitled opening number]

"and now we yell in fortissimo!"


[two nobodies in new york]

"music in a musical. how could we go wrong?"
 "KEY CHANGE!"


[an original musical]

"well mutha fucka, why don't i give you a crash course.."
 "that's right cracka"
"are you being black?"
"shut yo face"
"WHOOOO. that sounds like some crazy shit, bitch!"
"oh, easy mutha fucka"
"audiences want to see paris hilton and the apple tree."
"i am blank paper."
"even though they might be morman and gay"



[monkeys and playbills]

"writing should feel easy. like a monkey driving a speedboat."
"duuuudddde. i gotta go disco."
"and watched censored scenes from king kong."


[the tony award song]
"hunter, we agreed we weren't going to put the tony award song on the cd...remember."

[part of it all]
"a trendy photo shoot for a homo magazine"
"all our gay skills, filling playbills"
"a part of forgetting names of everyone we meet"
"our attempt to stay above the derivatal tricks and the critical undertow"

[i am playing me]
"stuck in a show where i am playing me"
"i'm getting nervous that our play is getting a little doughnuts for dinner"
"a little meatier like an asteroid is a tiny meteor?"
"huh...i totally stopped listening."
"no straight guys here for me to romance"

[what kind of girl is she?]
"At least my nose could take her nose in a cage match of noses."
"She’s got those boobs"
"She might try to steal my husband"
"She might try to have my baby"
"are you gonna eat that pickle?"

[die, vampire, die]
"a little part of me just wants to punch those motherfuckers in the teeth."
"You have a painting to paint, but you lazy like an old French whore"
"Fuck you Ms. Johnson, Word!"
"Your teeth need whitening"
"she might look like you mama, or your old fat-ass, fat aunt Fanny"
"bad language, blood, or blow jobs"
"Which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless"
"You look at that air freshener vampire in her fat ass, fat old fuckin’ face"
"but if the vampire inside my head says it,  It’s the voice of reason."


[filling out the form]
"how about 'this show fucking rocks'"
"your note can suck my note cause your note is my note's bitch"




[september song]
"Happy opening, y'all. Hey, naked."
"Okay, that's ridiculous. I'm not gonna kiss her...i will."
"If you shined a flashlight in my butt you'd see I'm dying inside"
"Oh please, like your mom has never masturbated...oh my gah"
"That was some bullshit I pulled out of my ass to make us feel better"
"Broadway.com? Broadway.com can kneel down, open its online mouth and suck my"
"...it can suck my fucking cock!"




[secondary characters]
"to enjoy the pleasure of this invisible cigarette"
"while the plot is unfolding like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy"
"I don’t know… I was just standing here quietly and Heidi was like uh-uh-guh-uh-uh-uh"


[a way back to then]
"I'll do it all by the time I'm ten"
"You're having a kick-ass time And being who you wanted to be in this world"




[nine people's favorite thing]
"I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing Than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing"
"I’ll admit I was a little bit “what the fuck?”"
"So I show up with pride this morning with a tray of rice-crispie treats"




[finale]
"This is the last line of our… show"



[bonus track]
"and cook your  [title of show]."
"Then have left-over [title of show]."
"Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow,
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow,
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow,
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow,"
"Hey you guys, do these jeans make my ass look big?"
"Your haircut is so [title of show]."
"I do hearby hook my thumbs under my imaginary suspenders and declare today (insert date), [title of show] day!"
"You can [title of show] the English Channel or you can just go fuck yourself!"
"You want those monkeys fried or broiled hon?"





epic. hard.